That's last time i Saw you, My Sister My Dear Sister
Expect the unexpected and be prepared to go through it, as there is no other choice we have....
“And my father and all of my family
Rise from the seats to sing
hallelujah
And my mother and all of my
family
Rise from the seats to sing
halellujah
And my brother and all of my
family
Rise from the seats to sing
hallelujah”
That was the last time I saw my sister, she was draped in
white and was sleeping like a baby. And in a minute the coffin was lowered into
ground and I turned, walked back with Tears flowing down my cheeks. I have great memories
with my sister, even though technically she is my cousin.
It was during summer holidays I meet her at my mom’s
ancestral home, a hub for all my cousins in Pathanamthitta, Kerala. I could say this was the best place for
me because the house has had a paddy field in the front and behind it is rubber estates ,a mountain and lakes. It was always exciting to go there, and what
keeps me going for my final exams during march is the idea of the summer vacation and meeting my sister.
There is a two-hour travel to my home from city, and always
we take the 7 am bus and sometimes we have to change buses to reach our
destination. The best part of travelling in bus is seeing different people and
hearing their conversations. Sometimes we nod off when the breeze gently
touches our face, and it’s always the slowest 2 hours in my life because I was
so eager to reach my home.
Once I reach home the best part is my sister apart from my
grandmother, it’s just talking and laughing. I remember the time when I use to
comb her hair she would give me 5 rupees and it was a huge sum for me then.
She is the one who makes us laugh,
during evenings she does gardening and I help her with it. From walking in the
paddy fields to washing our feet in the crystal clear lake water, to cooking it doesn’t
get over. We have a lot of memories together but our moments together were short-lived.
Even we weren’t serious of her health mainly because I didn’t
know much about it. I still remember the evening she left us, she felt some
uneasiness and was struggling to breath, we called our doctor but by the time
the doctor reached she left the world. She was lying in her mother’s lap and
looked at her tried to breathe and closed her eyes forever. She was just 24
years old and heaven wasn’t ready for her…
Sadly, there is less I can do during the situation, it was tough
to understand the situation, years have passed by but I always consider those as
one of the most beautiful days in my life. The truth is life is sometimes unfair to us
but all you can do is to embrace it and move on. But there were one of best moments in my life. Those memories
will die with me. As the Rayland Baxter song says All in all its a beautiful day, when i wake up all alone i cannot help but run away...
It hurts me to know my dear sister isn’t there with me and
there is no single day in the last 20 years goes without thinking about her. That’s the thing with death, it’s hard to
cope-up with our loss but what can we do? They say time heals everything and i doubt that because its been years and i still cant get over it. Its like she is living through us and she always will.
Sometimes god act crazy he/she is
always looking for a way to make our life complicated, first he makes everyone
related and attached, second he gives us unexpected and short term for all.
Earth is his playground and we all his toys. But can’t complain because if we are
born in this earth we have to live it, sad or happy it doesn't matter but we have to go through it. Life wasn't fair to her, but as the Alphaville song says " youth like diamonds in the sun and diamonds are forever"...
I would like to borrow a line from my elder aunt which still rings in my ears
Very touching and painful to her about her loss to you and her close ones . God bless her soul . Rest in peace.
ReplyDeletethanks for reading, it wasn't easy, but it has been in heart for long and finally after 20 years i wrote it.
DeleteI feel like I knew her after I read this .. very heartfelt writing . I am sure she l be missing you just as much 😘
ReplyDeleteVery touching and painful ... I've got a sister as well and if anything were to happen to her then I don't know how I'll cope with it and you've been coping for past 20 years.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how much you suffered.
All i can say is God bless her soul.
And for you - STAY STRONG and keep a big SMILE on your face for her
Now you have grown older while she still remains the same...I am sure would want to pen down a lot but there are very few words can describe what you feel, I love the way you have spoken about your grandmother's house
ReplyDeleteIn this world of forgetting people, you chose to write about her even after 20 years to show your love towards her.
ReplyDeleteStay strong
May God bless her soul
Very well written dear. Can't even imagine the pain of loosing a loved one. She looks so pure and good hearted.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless her soul.
Very touching.
ReplyDeleteWell written dear.
May God bless her soul.
Touching post. May she RIP
ReplyDeleteI got really emotional reading about her. May her soul rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteVery well written!!
Really touching .. May God bless her and your family
ReplyDeleteEven after 20 years your memories are still live.You took me back to those days with her enjoying her peculiar jokes and experiences at our ancestral home.God has a perfect plan in everything He does.A gardener plucks the best flower in his garden .Our time and period are decided by Him even before we are born.Jesus knew it was better for her to be in His lap than in this world.I was so emmotional while reading your blog and could read only with wet eyes.Well written mon
ReplyDelete