The First love, the forever and the Goodbye

Love doesn’t get defined by labels, it’s the unconditional feeling, its just love

It was 2008, Vivan just joined college and was in his first year, hmmm the first year, its always about being shy and scared. He was busy trying to make friends and be in the popular group for survival. He was so naive, charming and creative that he soon became popular among his batch.  Then came the freshers day he was doing a song, that’s when he saw him, Hamdan and this is their love story, a love with no conditions, no limitations but with acceptance. As Roxette song says it must have been love...

They say that love at first sight is a myth but its actually true, it was love at first sight for vivan but I can’t say about Hamdan, coz I even doubt whether he noticed vivan.  Soon days were passing, I insisted vivan to talk to hamdan, but he was shy especially when there was nothing in common, vivan was in Commerce and Hamdan was doing English, Hamdan was in sports and vivan in cultural. Both of them never crossed paths and one year just passed. Vivan wasn’t ready to talk but he was still drooling over him. Let me give you a brief about Hamdan, he was in his 3rd year now and one of the handsome guy in college, with a cool bike and a handy, he two times girls and the best part is the girls knew it.

But god has plans for them, Hamdan’s cousin Ahmed joined college in math department and vivan had common friends with Ahmed.  One day when Ahmed and Hamdan was having a chat vivan came across and that’s when Hamdan said hello to Vivan and I remember clear vivan’s face he blushed and it was all love. But i had a feeling Hamdan use to check him out.

Still they haven’t talked to each other, and one day there was a protest in our college and the students was doing a march past. Hamdan was part of it so does Vivan and me, they both were together and that’s when they had a talk. The talk lasted for some time and days, now they became regular “ hi friends” in college. But Vivan wanted more he longed for more from Hamdan, with all his strength gathered he approached and chatted with hamdan. I never seen vivan laugh so hard. Vivan was vocal to me about his feelings, he came whispered in my ears “tonight he going to call at 9”. 

Next day I was curious to know did he actually call, a guy who is having couple of girlfriends actually called a guy. But to my surprise Hamdan did call him and that too exactly at 9. It was the start of a connection, something pure and something exclusive. They were so happy in each other company, even the girls were jealous about them. Next few months they were the happiest people I have seen. I don’t want to label but they were content in each other’s company. They went to the beach, rode around in his bike, laughed a lot, but it was all platonic.

Hamdan was senior and vivan was junior, even their closest friends started to poke them saying “you guys should get married”. They use to hold their hands walk around and don’t even care what the world says about them. Vivan being the pushy one insisted to exchange gifts during the valentine day. They both got their gifts and met near the lake they talked how they are happy with each other Vivan gave him an Angel figurine Hamdan gave him a House which he had last 20 years and all of a sudden they kissed. As the Sufjan Stevens song "the first time that you kissed me"

                                                      

They kept on meeting and even took their relationship to the next level. Soon the exams got over and hamdan finished his college. Vivan started his third year, but things were different he was alone even hamdan started to ignore him, it was sad to see. Vivan tried to Reach him but he was very abusive. Soon vivan stopped calling him. Vivan was sad and torn and crushed he felt he was mentally paralyzed...

   

Seven months later hamdan came to Vivan's house unannounced. Vivan was looking shabby and not in his best but they didn't talk, just hugged, cried and kissed.  The days were fine but it wasn’t as happy as before, there was something missing.  Later they had a talk and Hamdan was worried about the future, about his career and life, he said he is moving to London that year later.

Vivan was still in Bangalore, apart from the occasional calls, life was busy for both. After 3 years Vivan went to London for his further studies and work. He knew hamdan was living there but never tried to figure or find it. One day Vivan was in Tube travelling to meet his Brother and all of a sudden he saw Hamdan in the same tube. They smiled and was so happy, there was so much of rush they were out of words.

They went to closest Starbucks cafe to have a little chat and then hamdan told the entire story about how difficult it was  for him to move but he didn’t have a choice, he did it for his family. Its was the early 2010’s he didn’t know if it was right or wrong. But he said he missed vivan every single day. Vivan said he missed Hamdan too but he understands all. He said he loves Hamdan’s family and wont do anything to hurt them.

Hamdan also told he is engaged and vivan said he is happy to hear that, later he met Ira his fiance. Today he loves Hamdan’s kids and Ira more than anything in the world. He still remember the line Hamdan told him back then " You are my life, my boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, father, mother, Brother and Sister" and considers him to be most luckiest person even if he have to let him go.

I always envy what they had, it was not selfish and very much sacrificial. They were so secure about their love and they knew it was forever. We don’t need to define our relationship but we need to understand and be secure about it. Things may not happen as expected but the love remains, coz there is so much beauty in this world.

Today there so much beauty in their world because they live a very happy life, they know they have each other's back. And when I ask Vivan is this your last love, he replies saying love is unconditional, their love was pure but the situations werent right but he will never blame anyone because he have wonderful memories which will keep him going and he says no matter boyfriends/ girlfriends will come and go in his life

he will love Hamdan forever always 

 and you cant just say good bye...XOXO

and as far i am concerned F#$* the society hard because you live only once and live the way you want, do what makes you happy and do what you feel is right, xoxo.

lABeL mE..."dOnT yoU DaRE

F**k the LaBEL...tREaT aLL EquaLLY...

“SSSSHHH, I heard he is Gay, He is a Black Guy, they are Asian, Man she is a lesbian, here comes the blonde, again a white guy gets it easy, you know something he is transitioning, that guy is growing beard is he going to join ISIS, she is fluid…lady you are way huge to climb 5 stairs, we hear this a lot around us. Why is it so difficult for us to accept people as “HUMANS” rather based on color/ sexuality/Body etc. it’s like haven’t you heard something called “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS”. Do we own this world to decide and tell people how they should live their life and what is wrong? and what is right? and discriminate. Today we are seeing lot of inhumanity around us.Recently Mr.DonaldTrump is planning to end DACA which was started by Mr.Obama for young undocumented immigrants from deportation, means around 8,00,000 immigrants has to leave USA.He is forgetting we all are immigrants in this world.Someone with lot of power and money decides what others must follow. The Power person’s ideology is what we need follow…”.Excuse me don’t I have a heart and brain to decide what’s right for me…” Why should anyone decide for me rather than that the Power or the Government should protect me because am a law-abiding citizen of that country. I should be given equal rights as any other citizen in that country. Whom I should marry is not the Government concern as far its mutual and not hurting anyone. I should be given a job or a house based on my qualification and background check not based on my color or sexuality. As Black Eyed Peas song says “where is the love".

mcsweeneys.net

Let’s look from the creation perspective we have concluded that there are two ways how Humans formed right, one is the God’s way which is the Popular Belief and other is the evolution, does anywhere it says that a Human created us. So why do we have the obsessive need to discriminate others and decide for others. Now from “God made Man and Woman” belief does he also give the right to us saying that now I formed you and you go rule world and you judge others, NO…He formed us and said be good, kind, care each other and repopulate the world. So basically, the power is in his hands and it means neither you or I has the right to Judge people or discriminate. We all are same in his eyes so the Judgment will be done when the time comes in God’s Court. Earth has now become a scary place where Humans are fighting for Power and once you get power act like the king and try to convey their Ideology, their thoughts, their religion and their rights into others. Is this a way to do things??? I agree we all have our own beliefs and religion and we can share that with people but to force it on them that’s not cool and not called for. The day when power decides that we all are Humans and let all law-abiding citizens have equal rights and trust me on this our planet EARTH is going to be on better Place to live and we don’t need the “ONE WAY MISSION TO MARS”.

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Now contrary to the Popular belief let’s do the anatomy for the Evolution of Humans. OK now we have a Monkey, that monkey was bending then he decides to walk straight later decided to get trimmed and cleaned and then BAM humans formed. Now did the Monkey decide yeah now I have become a big standing Monkey so let me rule this world and decide how every other monkey should live, No. Am pretty sure they weren’t thinking that all they must be thinking now I became homo sapiens so let me focus on how to survive? As time evolved so called humans started getting thirsty for power and more power they forgot once there was a time it was all about survival. Nowadays survival has a different meaning, it means if you want to survive follow the ideology of your ruler or government, if not you can’t survive in my country…” Did Humanity had a Mighty fall, YES and do we have a chance to come up, YES”.

We all here for a small period which can’t be even predicted so all we can do is to stay as Humans and be compassionate, kind and loving to our follow human beings and treat them all equal. It could be anything like keeping the lift on hold for someone who is behind you to catch the same lift, it could be providing food for needy, hugging someone who is in distress, or even just saying to someone keep going and you will be fine.” The words, the small act of kindness which we do could be a huge change to others and they will remember you and try to follow it. It’s "WE" who need to start this change rather than asking anyone to change and let’s not stop this until the world gets into a better place. Something which can be passed to our future Generation and makes us proud.  Lets "Heal the world".

There is someone out there who is trying hard to tell you, these are the spirits of those people who have died who was in power and believed that only their ideology, their religion, their thoughts and thinking’s were right and make the citizens who have trusted in them, who had faith in them follow it. All they are trying to say is that they REGRET IT and it was a SUPER MISTAKE what they have done because once you die and become dust all are equal. They are trying to stop you from doing the same mistake but it all going in vain.

Let’s all be Humans and treat everyone as one family giving them equality and not labeling them. Every life needs to be respected, we don’t own the earth and we don’t own anyone’s life because we all are TENANTS in this world. Everything is owned by the supreme power and let him Judge us when the time comes till then let there be LOVE and only LOVE.

Brainyquote.com

"OUR WORLD IS STRUGGLING WITH MAJOR ISSUES LIKE NATURAL CALAMITIES, TERRORIST ATTACKS, FAMINE, DISEASES ETC AND LET’S NOT MAKE IT MORE COMPLICATED WITH THESE KIND OF DISCRIMINATION AND INCONSEQUENTIAL ISSUES. LETS HOPE FOR BETTER DAYS…"

"START TODAY WITH A SMALL ACT OF KINDNESS TO MAKE A BETTER TOMORROW, A PEACEFUL, HAPPY AND A KIND WORLD."

I am borrowing a verse from Bible for conclusion...:)

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” XOXO

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