That's last time i Saw you, My Sister my Dear Sister

That's last time i Saw you, My Sister My Dear Sister

Expect the unexpected and be prepared to go through it, as there is no other choice we have....

“And my father and all of my family

Rise from the seats to sing hallelujah

And my mother and all of my family

Rise from the seats to sing halellujah

And my brother and all of my family

Rise from the seats to sing hallelujah”

      

That was the last time I saw my sister, she was draped in white and was sleeping like a baby. And in a minute the coffin was lowered into ground and I turned, walked back with Tears flowing down my cheeks. I have great memories with my sister, even though technically she is my cousin.

It was during summer holidays I meet her at my mom’s ancestral home, a hub for all my cousins in Pathanamthitta, Kerala. I could say this was the best place for me because the house has had a paddy field in the front and behind it is rubber estates ,a mountain and lakes. It was always exciting to go there, and what keeps me going for my final exams during march is the idea of the summer vacation and meeting my sister.

There is a two-hour travel to my home from city, and always we take the 7 am bus and sometimes we have to change buses to reach our destination. The best part of travelling in bus is seeing different people and hearing their conversations. Sometimes we nod off when the breeze gently touches our face, and it’s always the slowest 2 hours in my life because I was so eager to reach my home.

Once I reach home the best part is my sister apart from my grandmother, it’s just talking and laughing. I remember the time when I use to comb her hair she would give me 5 rupees and it was a huge sum for me then.

She is the one who makes us laugh, during evenings she does gardening and I help her with it. From walking in the paddy fields to washing our feet in the crystal clear lake water, to cooking it doesn’t get over. We have a lot of memories together but our moments together were short-lived.

Even we weren’t serious of her health mainly because I didn’t know much about it. I still remember the evening she left us, she felt some uneasiness and was struggling to breath, we called our doctor but by the time the doctor reached she left the world. She was lying in her mother’s lap and looked at her tried to breathe and closed her eyes forever. She was just 24 years old and heaven wasn’t ready for her…

Sadly, there is less I can do during the situation, it was tough to understand the situation, years have passed by but I always consider those as one of the most beautiful days in my life.  The truth is life is sometimes unfair to us but all you can do is to embrace it and move on. But there were one of best moments in my life. Those memories will die with me. As the Rayland Baxter song says All in all its a beautiful day, when i wake up all alone i cannot help but run away...

It hurts me to know my dear sister isn’t there with me and there is no single day in the last 20 years goes without thinking about her.  That’s the thing with death, it’s hard to cope-up with our loss but what can we do? They say time heals everything and i doubt that because its been years and i still cant get over it. Its like she is living through us and she always will.

Sometimes god act crazy he/she is always looking for a way to make our life complicated, first he makes everyone related and attached, second he gives us unexpected and short term for all. Earth is his playground and we all his toys. But can’t complain because if we are born in this earth we have to live it, sad or happy it doesn't matter but we have to go through it. Life wasn't fair to her, but as the Alphaville song says " youth like diamonds in the sun and diamonds are forever"...

I would like to borrow a line from my elder aunt which still rings in my ears

“when I die the first person I like to see is my dear Akku Mol”, I guess the same is with me too because I am longing for my dear sister. As the Mariah Carey ft Boyz 2 Men song says One Sweet Day...🙂🙂🙂

"BEAT SUICIDE"

"Not all have the luxury of life...Value it..."

Desperate Housewives

It was May 2014, I clearly remember because it was one month after I joined my new company in Dubai. It was a Monday morning around 8.30 my phone was continuously ringing since it was on silence I didn’t notice. When I reached office, I found 10 missed calls from my close friend Manav.  I immediately called back, without even waiting to finish the first ring he picked up and was crying. I asked Manav to stop and answer me what went wrong? He was still gasping for breath and his voice was breaking but I got a Deja vu that someone is dead…finally he found the courage and said to me Ricky committed SUICIDE, for a couple of seconds I couldn’t reply him. Finally, I said “it’s OK it happens cry as much as you want and trust he must be crying too for his stupid mistake”.  At the age of 24 Ricky Mathews did SUICIDE by consuming poison. Ricky and Manav were childhood friends and very emotionally attached. Suddenly Ricky’s life got over at his prime age. He hasn’t left any suicide note, neither anyone knows why he did it. But he is missing a lot of things, things which he hasn’t done…marriage, children, his achievements and seeing the beautiful world. His life got frozen forever but his memories are still alive. Still today Manav ask, “Why and what went wrong Ricky???”.

Today this topic came to limelight again when Karan Joseph the renowned Pianist leaped to death from 12^th floor in Mumbai. He was rich and famous and was fine till he jumped out of the window suddenly without any reason. According to survey every 40 second one person commits suicide somewhere in the world. It’s the 10^th most way of People dying and the most Interesting part is 79% of them are male. There is a death reported in every 20 suicide attempts. There are various reasons why people end their life, Depression, Family issues, Failure, Acceptance, Loneliness and some for the sake of game. The alarming fact is the highest no of suicides is among teen in the age group of 14-17. Sadly, INDIA ranks 6^th in women and 22^nd in men globally. India has different organisations state wise to help depressed and people with suicide tendency. But Sadly, nothing major is there from our Government to help people, like ONE NATIONAL HELPLINE NO to call for the entire country so the help reaches on time to the concerned person. Not just the National helpline but also assurance and awareness that they are trust worthy and secured. Awareness throughout the country and mandatory saving of National Helpline in every cell Phone.

We as society are partially responsible for some of it.  Bullying is one of the major cause of suicide among teens aged 14 to 18. We should understand that teenage is the most delicate and fragile time during our entire life. It’s the time when teens are confused with life, getting influenced with lot of ideas and trials. We tend to bully teens and call them names or mocking fun of them by pointing out there, gender, Colour or even body. LGBTQ teens are the biggest target groups here. We should understand that a life is more important than any amount of bullying we do. If you want, have fun at our own expense rather than someone. Bullying a person isn’t a joke but rather disrespectful to that Individual’s Personality.

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Family issues, Divorce among parents is also another reason for major suicides. I totally agree if two individuals who are married and decide to part ways to lead a happy life let it be. Then the first thing is to explain it to their children or rather take them for a counselling before they go ahead with it. If they aren’t happy about it give them time and take time too. Your children’s life is very important than a divorce paper. You still live your individual life and there will be a time when your children will understand it.

Break up’s is another situation where people have the tendency to end their life. Let’s face it we all are humans and break ups are disaster’s. It takes certain amount of time to get healed. But during these delicate times lets be around our friends to keep a tab on them or get diverted from the topic. Sooner or later you will move on and later you understand it was a good thing.

Depression is the mother of all causes for suicide. People get depressed for no reasons or with reasons like loneliness, failures, sickness etc. sometimes we don't even know that we are depressed but anytime we feel low let's not be ashamed to talk to someone. I suggest these guys need immediate counselling and they need to open up with their friends or a shrink. As Vivien Leigh Says in A Street Car named Desire “I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers.” There are a lot of people who are in the same situation who help or be a comfort for each other. You can find your support there. Always keep in mind that life is too precious to lose. No Matter how much busy we are, if someone wants to talk to us always make that a priority.

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Honestly everyone has issues and nobody is perfect. Everyone act perfect in their life. What you see in social media is not what is in real. Everyone is trying hard to be in the perfect people race which was created by some unperfect person to show he is perfect. Trust me it’s all Bull.  We all live a pretentious society who wants to show other people that we are happy because we think they are happy. Everyone has issues and there should be issues so we could face them and become stronger in life. Life is gift and we shouldn’t disrespect our gift even its small or big, worth or unworthy. Let’s face it” our is life is messed up”, but there are a million things which is beautiful about it. Honestly suicide can affect your Family and friends for a Long term.

Let’s drop the pretentious life we have and be content with what we have in our life. Let’s live with our circumstances. We all are blessed with some thing or the other and let’s work on it. Let’s see dreams and try to achieve it. It may take time and we may fail a million times but trust me one day we will succeed. Take all those hatred and all those mocking words and use them as manure for your success. To everyone I must say what my friend Clifford Morris said every night before we sleep talk to GOD like a friend for 5 minutes. Say what all you feel. I tried it and it really helped me. We will never feel we are alone.

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We are strong enough to handle things on our own and come up in life. Even we have all support finally its we who decide to come out it and once you have done that, I call that the “REAL WIN”. It happens in a flip of a second and but you need to SNAP OUT OF IT.

    Life need not be Perfect, it needs to be "LIVED" XOXO

tHe sTalKeR cAlLeD dEaTH

"My Blog wont be Grammatically correct and i was offered by friends to get it Edited and corrected before publishing but i felt its not right because i didn't want it to be Perfect."

Last Night Bangalore was shaken by the news of Ms.Gauri Lankesh’s Assassination. She was 55 and was shot by 3 unidentified men at her home which was so uncool and uncalled for no matter what, whether she has fulfilled her dreams we don’t know, is someone going to follow her dreams we don’t know that either nor we will know it but she is someone who followed her Heart. A very bold woman with very strong views on politics perhaps the reason of her death. Just like the death of any other famous person the hullabaloo will be there for a week and just like others she too will be soon forgotten. I don’t want to get into the political part of it or the feminist part of it. Now the main point of this blog is the unpredictability of Death.

It’s like Yesterday Morning Ms. Gauri Lankesh woke up, did her routine things drove to work, did her tweet on an issue, was it ever in her mind yeah that’s it today is my last day in earth or as phoebe Says in Friends “after she woke up she had regular tea, decided to have a massage little did she knew ‘God was like yeah that’s it’”. Would she be dead even if those brutal people haven’t shot her, the something what we call as destiny or it’s something which could be avoided if wanted that’s still a mystery for Humanity.

The way death approach us is like too soon even we forget to enjoy the beautiful day called “Today”. We are so super busy with our lives that we are running and running and running to earn more (which neither can’t carry or enjoy), to be famous but end up in depression little we know that a stalker called DEATH is following us and by the time we realize things it will be too late and we will be walking around in a form called Spirit or Ghost.

Now the real question is why are we running and where are we heading too???…some answers are like we are running coz we want to save for our children or save for future…but it’s like “’hello’ how do you predict your future if you can’t predict your today?” Well when we have family and responsibilities we do need money and I totally agree to it. Let’s look at the system in India…well to get a decent amount as salary one has to be around 30 plus (am talking about the non-technical guys) but what we follow like is even if the boy is earning little let him get married when the truth is what he is earning is not even for himself…now the burden of earning, doing multiple jobs and frustration enters slowly which turns into depression and finally you outgrow your prime years and soon in death bed or rather wasn’t we having a slow death. Sometimes things here are very complicated to understand and decided by societal norms like the boy should be old or rather the girl should be young, the boy should earn more and more importantly that one should get married etc…this is all some orthodox ideas which was done during medieval times.

Why can’t we simply accept the fact that lets take responsibility when you earn decently and till then let he or she fulfill certain dreams of theirs like learning some art or travelling, in other words some time for yourself so at least we will be satisfied when our time comes to leave this Planet. Well I was born I was educated by my parents and of course it’s every parent dream to see their children get married and settled and in a way, they are telling yes, we have done our part. I feel the done part is when they see their children been “happy” …and not pushing them according to their definition of the term called their “Happiness”…But this raises the question are they going to die unhappy, not seeing their children settled. I personally feel happiness or being content in life should not be chained with expectations from others. One must decide his life goals and define his happiness it could be anything …like for someone they like flowers so gardening is what gives them happiness, for some they like to take care of home like doing vacuuming, making food and taking care of the family, for some its Love and for some its career, for some its just Surviving in this world, it could be travel and like that doing movies or even it’s just not doing anything. We all are Individuals and we all are different and Unique so it doesn’t mean we all should pursue same things in life. We will have success and we have failures it’s just a natural way which gives results but at the end of the day you will never regret it because you have done that. To be honest there is no point of leaving a mark in this world after you go because you are not there to watch or enjoy it. All we can do is be a motivation to others by following your own heart and let everyone be able to do it no matter what the result is. As NIKE says, “Just Do It”.

Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

Your own happiness and life content happens when you enjoy yourself, accepting what you are, your strengths, your circumstances and being grateful for the life you have because many people don’t have the luxury what we have. for all you out there and who is reading my blog I would like request you guys to do one thing just take a moment from today and enjoy the air out there, just enjoy this beautiful day because we get very few of them and by the time we realize it will be too late.

Let me tell you one reality “He is around the corner and he is waiting for our time to be finished in this world, he won’t even give you a hint, no matter how much you beg he won’t listen when its time he will take you” and as you go up in the air along with him you look down and see how beautiful your world was KASH... you wish you gave more time for yourself to enjoy it. No matter what all we plan for future we really can’t plan our time to leave this planet.

        As the song by "Simply Red" Says "That's all i have today, It's all i have to say"

Start loving your life, do things which you want to do and enjoy each second of it ,no matter what it results in …XOXO!!!