GuiltY AffairS

"THAT MOMENT... WHEN MY LIFE BECAME A LIE"

"Wait…I heard a sound…"a panicked Pauline ran and peeped through her drapes to see if peter came home. She was relieved it was not his car. She went back to her bed. After 10 minutes, she again heard a car pulling up and she ran down to see if its peter but again it was someone else. Pauline went back to the Guest bed room and saw Richard dressing up. Richard asked “why you worried? Isn’t he out for long?” Pauline replied "it’s easy for you Richard to say it, am the one who is feeling guilty". Yes Pauline was having an extra martial affair behind her husband peter with his friend Richard and every night she repent over it, cry to sleep thinking about it. Its been eight months since she started an affair and she isn't able to see peter they way she use to see him before. It kills her of the thought that she is cheating her husband of five years. As the George Michael song says "I'm never gonna dance again the way i danced with you"

Peter and Pauline were happily married they were college sweet hearts. Richard is Peter's office colleague. Peter is a hardworking man and someone who gives importance to family life. He is working extra hours for their son Christopher and daughter christy. Pauline was a home maker and she loved it. She liked the idea raising kids and being with them. Things took a turn when the kids started going to school where she became merely to a lonely housewife and she didn't have much to do. That's when the affair started, something which she started to spice up her life turned out to be the biggest guilty pleasure for her. It was time she decided to confront Richard about it. She wanted to know if they can move in together because she cant cheat Peter anymore.

Richard was happily married and rejected Pauline's idea immediately. He said it was just fun for him and she should also look it as the same. Pauline was devastated but somewhere she knew she did it not because she loved Richard but out of love for peter. She thought about it and she decided the best way to sort is to come clean about it with Peter and what worst could happen either he will leave her or he will go in for a divorce but she was ready to face it but she was sure she had to do it. Just then she heard the honking of car. Peter came in and asked about the kids she said they are asleep. They sat down for supper Pauline waited for the supper to get over. Slowly she said "Pete i need to tell you something" Pete looking at her said " Say dear". She took the courage and said "Pete please dont hate me for this but i have to tell you this". Peter became more alert and he knew its something serious. Then with all braveness she said "I am sorry I been cheating on you for last 8 months". A shattered and confused peter took couple of seconds to grasp the intensity of it. Without saying a word he got up and went for front door , took his coat got his car keys and drove away. As Rihanna song says She was UNFAITHFUL to him...

Pauline stood there crying and watched him driving away. She went back and sat on the couch thinking about it. She understood no amount of adventure, spice or anything was worth her love for family, her love for her kids and especially her love for peter. She felt it was the right thing to tell peter about it because its the correct thing to do. Pauline didn't care about forgiveness from peter but that he deserved to know the truth.Peter may take his own time to accept it and he may forgive Pauline only time will tell it.

Relationships are something we take for granted. The more busy they get we think they dont love us but in truth they are providing for the future. When we cheat on our partners we forget all those great moments we had with them and spoil them for ever. For some its a solace but they forget to understand no one else can give you happiness apart from you. We are humans and we do have emotions but we need to value the pros and cons of going behind those emotions. Is it worth to go behind it and destroy the existing happiness. Do we have any guarantee the happiness we had for a day will remain the same forever. Its all a myth which is in movies where the hero and heroine find real love and live happily forever.

We shouldn't be a fool enough to give away what we have, for a day of Lust and Happiness. Also its really wrong to have an affair behind your partner's back. You need to come clean about it with your partner because that's the best way to say sorry to them and more importantly respecting them and let's not expect our partner will forgive. Let them take their own time. 

Today Pauline is still waiting for Peter to come back. Its really tough for them to built a relationship again and it wont be the same. Now all she worries is about is peter going to forgive her and most of all "WAS IT WORTH IT..." As the Prince Song Says. I never meant to cause you any pain or sorrow...

 

Yes it's one question we also need to ask our self"...IS IT WORTH..."

Yes we all have those moments, but hold yourself because it may have Catastrophic effect..XOXO

“The Ugly Love”

YoU LovE mE thEn dOn’t LeavE mE

Sometimes we feel bored and all we need is some project. So, my project was meddling with my friend Sameera’s life. Let me introduce Sameera to you, Sameera is a very fun loving, ambitious and workaholic but she was a sucker for love and relationships. After her last break up she swears that she won’t be in love or relationship again.   Of course, she being my friend I always curse the guy who ditched her and decided to take life into my hands. That’s when I met Shawn the Pharmacist who moved near my home. Shawn was typical Indian, Kerala boy who had a decent haircut and goes church every Sunday.  After having few talks with him I thought he is perfect for Sameera.

So, I asked Sameera to meet me for a coffee to tell about Shawn. Sameera wasn’t excited as she had a messed up break up with Nitin and wanted to stay single or be a nun. I asked her when did Monastery became a hiding spot for all victims in love failures. “Cheer up and let’s restart”. Sameera and Shawn exchanged no’s and started to Whats App daily. Shawn was a reserved guy who doesn’t open up.  Sameera liked that quality in him and was also attracted by his simple lifestyle. All Sameera was telling as the ABBA song “YES oh Yes i want to know 'the Name of the Game'”.

We three use to hang out a lot and over the months Sameera gradually found him interesting and was in love. After 6 months of dating they decided to make things official. It was a happy and jealous moment for all of us. Let’s be honest it’s not easy to find the right person, let alone have a relationship. It was great for all of us. As usual the initial months it was all about them. They forgot that they had friends and family. As time, progressed Sameera started to be dominant in the relationship. She was the final Answer to all decision making. Shawn being the simple guy he was too happy being part of her life. Soon she was walking all over him, even deciding his likes, whom to talk and where to go. Shawn became a puppet to her. Her point was showing others “how perfect her love was?  “What a wonderful life she is having?” and makes others jealous of her life. Shawn started to feel bit out of place and for first time he felt that he was not in that relationship and maybe he was a rebound guy for her. The melting point reached when Sameera asked him to cut out his old friends especially his emotional support friend Pallavi because she doubted them.

Sameera decisions were made from her ambitions and dreams. She forgot that they both are Individuals and have different aims in life. Even though Shawn was part of her life decisions but she chooses to ignore Shawn’s life goals and dreams.  She decided to move to India to work for a NGO without even discussing with Shawn. He was surprised but didn’t say a word. She was hoping to work in India for 6 months and return to Dubai. Not even once she discussed it with Shawn. When time came she left. India was different experience for her. She was struggling with her new life. But then came a WhatsApp Message...“I am tired of this relationship and I need a break.” 

Shawn wanted to break up. Sameera couldn’t understand the Intensity of it. She was still on her own world thinking she was right and he will come back. But Shawn was prepared and he said it’s Over. For him his happiness matters the most and he wasn’t happy. The thing it was painful for both but Shawn was already preparing for it so it was ok for him.  Life froze for Sameera. She was devastated, confused, lonely and crying. She was not sure about the situation. She tried talking to Shawn, begged and said sorry a million times. Shawn was stubborn and he made up his mind & was clear that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with Sameera. As the ABBA song says “One of us Is crying, One of us is lying in her lonely bed staring at the ceiling wishing she was somewhere else instead”

Depressed and Lonely Sameera decided to confront Shawn on what went wrong. She booked her ticket to Dubai the very next day. The charges were high but she never cared all she wanted to save her relationship. They met at a pub and there he started to tell what went wrong and why wasn’t he happy. The points he throwed at her face was:

1)There was no we in the relationship and it was always her.

2)She forgot that he has personal choices and likings which was never considered.

3)she never gave him Space.

4)They both are unhappy in this relationship.

In brief, he was telling he never had an individuality when they were together. Sameera tried hard to convince him and give her a second chance. But he was firm, he said neither she nor he was happy in that relationship and let’s move on and be happy. That was the last drink they had together before they parted ways. As the ABBA song “when all was said and done”.

If I do the Anatomy of the relationship I never blame Sameera because she was just being her. Yes, she could have given him a little space. But I always ask Shawn why he never told Sameera the emotional turmoil he was going through. If he had raised it up then today they could have been together. I don’t understand, how easy was it for Shawn to move on after two years of being together. Was there any love or was it just an Infatuation. She was always herself, yes, she is selfish and self-centered but she was always that and he knew it when he was getting into it. Yes, there were issues which could be worked on but Sameera deserved a second chance. If you really love someone, you never leave them it’s as simple as that. No one and nothing is perfect in this world. If we love something and if we find issues we try to sort it out rather than leaving or breaking up. Leaving up or breaking up is for people who don’t have the courage to face things. I always felt there was another reason for his exit.  Anyhow its life and unexpected things are bound happen all we have to do is say YES to it and MOVE ON.

I always blame me for this situation. If I haven’t played the cupid part. Today things would have been much different. One of those times when you hate yourself. All I can say is SORRY.

Today Sameera is still single and still struggling where Shawn has moved on and is dating a new girl.

I call it the ugly love because it hurt my friend my dear friend and she never deserved it. All she knew was to love. When did love became so mean and torturing?. All I hope and believe that time will heal her and soon she will find her new love. The one she will be the happiest. Till then she will feel like a looser as the ABBA song says, “THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL”.

As it Says "LOVE NEVER STOPS HOPING" For Sameera its that hope which keeps her going XOXO.