“The Ugly Love”

YoU LovE mE thEn dOn’t LeavE mE

Sometimes we feel bored and all we need is some project. So, my project was meddling with my friend Sameera’s life. Let me introduce Sameera to you, Sameera is a very fun loving, ambitious and workaholic but she was a sucker for love and relationships. After her last break up she swears that she won’t be in love or relationship again.   Of course, she being my friend I always curse the guy who ditched her and decided to take life into my hands. That’s when I met Shawn the Pharmacist who moved near my home. Shawn was typical Indian, Kerala boy who had a decent haircut and goes church every Sunday.  After having few talks with him I thought he is perfect for Sameera.

So, I asked Sameera to meet me for a coffee to tell about Shawn. Sameera wasn’t excited as she had a messed up break up with Nitin and wanted to stay single or be a nun. I asked her when did Monastery became a hiding spot for all victims in love failures. “Cheer up and let’s restart”. Sameera and Shawn exchanged no’s and started to Whats App daily. Shawn was a reserved guy who doesn’t open up.  Sameera liked that quality in him and was also attracted by his simple lifestyle. All Sameera was telling as the ABBA song “YES oh Yes i want to know 'the Name of the Game'”.

We three use to hang out a lot and over the months Sameera gradually found him interesting and was in love. After 6 months of dating they decided to make things official. It was a happy and jealous moment for all of us. Let’s be honest it’s not easy to find the right person, let alone have a relationship. It was great for all of us. As usual the initial months it was all about them. They forgot that they had friends and family. As time, progressed Sameera started to be dominant in the relationship. She was the final Answer to all decision making. Shawn being the simple guy he was too happy being part of her life. Soon she was walking all over him, even deciding his likes, whom to talk and where to go. Shawn became a puppet to her. Her point was showing others “how perfect her love was?  “What a wonderful life she is having?” and makes others jealous of her life. Shawn started to feel bit out of place and for first time he felt that he was not in that relationship and maybe he was a rebound guy for her. The melting point reached when Sameera asked him to cut out his old friends especially his emotional support friend Pallavi because she doubted them.

Sameera decisions were made from her ambitions and dreams. She forgot that they both are Individuals and have different aims in life. Even though Shawn was part of her life decisions but she chooses to ignore Shawn’s life goals and dreams.  She decided to move to India to work for a NGO without even discussing with Shawn. He was surprised but didn’t say a word. She was hoping to work in India for 6 months and return to Dubai. Not even once she discussed it with Shawn. When time came she left. India was different experience for her. She was struggling with her new life. But then came a WhatsApp Message...“I am tired of this relationship and I need a break.” 

Shawn wanted to break up. Sameera couldn’t understand the Intensity of it. She was still on her own world thinking she was right and he will come back. But Shawn was prepared and he said it’s Over. For him his happiness matters the most and he wasn’t happy. The thing it was painful for both but Shawn was already preparing for it so it was ok for him.  Life froze for Sameera. She was devastated, confused, lonely and crying. She was not sure about the situation. She tried talking to Shawn, begged and said sorry a million times. Shawn was stubborn and he made up his mind & was clear that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with Sameera. As the ABBA song says “One of us Is crying, One of us is lying in her lonely bed staring at the ceiling wishing she was somewhere else instead”

Depressed and Lonely Sameera decided to confront Shawn on what went wrong. She booked her ticket to Dubai the very next day. The charges were high but she never cared all she wanted to save her relationship. They met at a pub and there he started to tell what went wrong and why wasn’t he happy. The points he throwed at her face was:

1)There was no we in the relationship and it was always her.

2)She forgot that he has personal choices and likings which was never considered.

3)she never gave him Space.

4)They both are unhappy in this relationship.

In brief, he was telling he never had an individuality when they were together. Sameera tried hard to convince him and give her a second chance. But he was firm, he said neither she nor he was happy in that relationship and let’s move on and be happy. That was the last drink they had together before they parted ways. As the ABBA song “when all was said and done”.

If I do the Anatomy of the relationship I never blame Sameera because she was just being her. Yes, she could have given him a little space. But I always ask Shawn why he never told Sameera the emotional turmoil he was going through. If he had raised it up then today they could have been together. I don’t understand, how easy was it for Shawn to move on after two years of being together. Was there any love or was it just an Infatuation. She was always herself, yes, she is selfish and self-centered but she was always that and he knew it when he was getting into it. Yes, there were issues which could be worked on but Sameera deserved a second chance. If you really love someone, you never leave them it’s as simple as that. No one and nothing is perfect in this world. If we love something and if we find issues we try to sort it out rather than leaving or breaking up. Leaving up or breaking up is for people who don’t have the courage to face things. I always felt there was another reason for his exit.  Anyhow its life and unexpected things are bound happen all we have to do is say YES to it and MOVE ON.

I always blame me for this situation. If I haven’t played the cupid part. Today things would have been much different. One of those times when you hate yourself. All I can say is SORRY.

Today Sameera is still single and still struggling where Shawn has moved on and is dating a new girl.

I call it the ugly love because it hurt my friend my dear friend and she never deserved it. All she knew was to love. When did love became so mean and torturing?. All I hope and believe that time will heal her and soon she will find her new love. The one she will be the happiest. Till then she will feel like a looser as the ABBA song says, “THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL”.

As it Says "LOVE NEVER STOPS HOPING" For Sameera its that hope which keeps her going XOXO.